Belonging in an age of collapse
Just yesterday I returned home to Uruguay after living in the United States for over three months. I am overcome with emotions, many hard to describe. It is confusing to be from two (or more) places at once, but not fully of either.
I love my family and friends in the United States. I love many aspects of American culture, even if some of the best parts are increasingly lost. I miss being around the vibrancy of the culture at its best. I feel a sense of loss being away from deep relationships for so long.
I also love my adopted culture in Uruguay. I am making new friends, forming a deep sense of community. The already very healthy culture in Uruguay is seeping into my kids and I love that for them. But I am not from here, and will never fully get all the jokes, understand the politics, or smoothly navigate the nuance of deep relationships in a foreign tongue.
The problem of belonging is not a new one, and the feelings of migrants are well documented. The push and pull between where you come from and where you are going is going to be rife with contradiction.
What I’m interested in is not just the movement from one physical space to another, but also the more universal psychological journey of belonging we all face in the era of collapse. Things cannot go on as they have. The culture that you were born into is falling away, and something else entirely is emerging.
Many are feeling a sense of loss at this. It is hard to let go of the nostalgia for times past. It is hard to accept that some of the experiences you took for granted won’t be possible again. It’s hard to admit that many aspects of your culture are secretly harmful to other people and creatures, often on the other side of the world.
But if you can get past the doomer realization stage, there are ways to move forward toward something meaningful and good. There are likely even ways to retain some of the best aspects of the dying culture, before it gets left behind completely.
You don’t have to physically move around the world, as I have, to accept that you are on this journey. Finding belonging will be ugly, confusing, difficult, and embarrassing. But you have no other choice, go find it.